Njoy This Trip

I know this is an old one, but it still makes me chuckle: 

An old Italian Mafia “Don” is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.
“Lissin-a me.  I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you always remember me.”
“But grandpa, I really don’t lika guns.  Howz about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?”
“Shuddup an’a lissin.  Somma day you gonna runna da business.  You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a bigga home and maybe a couple a bambinos.  Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find your wife inna bed with another man.  Whadda you gonna do then …  Pointa to you watch and say, “Times up?”